im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize