my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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