It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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