singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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