for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Everything about him screamed your future.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Alive.
So much puke
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
