I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
