I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Randomize
