Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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