Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Randomize
