You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize