Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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