Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
