i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize