is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
