If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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