Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
