I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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