I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
