In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
