Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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