OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
