seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Congratulations! We have a period
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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