I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I hope mine doesn't look like that
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
