TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
my shit smells like andre
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
