its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
then he tried to convert me to islam
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
