I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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