Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
