I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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