Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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