Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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