i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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