I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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