at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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