She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
