Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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