You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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