Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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