ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
