Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
