He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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