I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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