so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize