BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
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