do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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