i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
