mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
