I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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