Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
