Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
