i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
