She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
