I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize