There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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