i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
