i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Even my vagina gasped.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
