After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Randomize
