In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
