Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
