Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
