umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
