I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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