I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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