i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
