can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
