is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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