hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
