If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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