I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
