Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
