"it" just moved
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Panties = found
Randomize
