Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
