ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
We're too hungover to prance.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
