Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
