eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
