I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
